Les temps sont durs pour les rêveurs

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 07:29:05 GMT

At what point in our lives do we, as intelligent individuals, stop using rational as a determining influential factor in our decisions, but instead appeal entirely to emotion? Does have kids cause you to lose your ability to interpret societal issues in a rational manner; causing you to call upon personal experience to substanciate your claims, as opposed to logic?

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 22:11:26 GMT

i want to have more than words scribbled in a five-year-old notebook to remember periods of my life

to cherish that which is good, and to learn from that which was unwise

to relive fond memories and to be provided with a foil that emphasises their greatness

to be inspired

to see beauty in the ordinary

and perhaps

perhaps

for the recognition of such beauty to make me feel content, instead of downhearted because i am constantly reminded that nothing in life, or that life as a whole, will never compare

i want to start taking more photographs

i can take angled photographs of myself.

Thu, 25 Jan 2007 21:25:56 GMT

and turn up the contrast. Looking at the Myspace pages of people I know or have known makes me laffo.

There are certain things to be complained about - but while these things are not widely socially accepted, complaining about them is not either. Luckily I've never been a person who is particuarly concerned with presenting myself as not being a douchebag, so that's just fine. It never ceases to amaze me how people can be so magnificently full of shit on such a consistant basis. When I look at people with whom I used to associate myself with more frequently and compare that person to who they are currently, it's amazing. How can your entire persona - your preferences, various stances, associations - how can your entire outlook on like change so easily to cater to a situation? And more importantly, why would you ever have to work so fucking hard to maintain a million facades simultaneously? 89A7STROOIU8HOAETSAJK

I hate people so, so much.

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 02:16:23 GMT

I think I may start using this again.

Normally I'd have made a new journal entirely as to not tempt myself to go back and read my views and situational reflections from 2003-2005, especially because of how hilariously angsty many of them are. Not to mention to have a different livejournal name, a possibility of which I already registered. However, this account still has the same layout that I used when I was able to customize it due to having a paid account, and I'm not about to argue with snazzyness!

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 01:42:22 GMT

I just watched Amelie about 5 times, it almost makes me sad to watch it despite the fact that I find it to be an utterly fantastic movie. If life were more like movies, perhaps I'd be more inclined to experience it.

Sun, 01 Jan 2006 03:07:38 GMT

So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions

So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 18:59:29 GMT

Josh and I had tickets to See Hawthorne Heights, Silverstein, Bayside, and Aiden on November 4th in San Francisco. Bayside's drummer died last night in a car accident so now the tour is postponed for the time being, which means it's cancelled.

I bought these tickets almost three months ago, and chose to buy them instead of buying tickets to and Underoath/Thrice/Bled show, a Hot Hot Heat/Weezer/Foo Fighters show, or a Fall Out Boy show.

Fucking shit, man.

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 04:24:12 GMT

It's 9:22, which mean sit's two hours and thirty eight minutes until 9/22.

Happy almost birthday to me.

peanut butter jelly time!

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 17:50:32 GMT

Next time you're at Jamba Juice, order a

Peanut Butter Moo'd:
no chocolate base, sub soymilk and peanut butter
no banana, sub strawberry
extra strawberry
(extra peanut butter if you want it... I might order it this way just because I'm not sure how much other people would put in)

And that, my friends, is my creation... The pb&j smoothie.

Yes, I too would imagine it to taste like shit just from hearing it. However, having created it and having received only positive responses from friends and family, I cannot help but to take pride in my creation. I'm not sure if other people will make it correctly, but if I'm working and you like peanut butter and jelly, you should totally come in and get one.

(and if you don't feel like paying, don't come in a huge group because that's way too conspicuous, so I'll have to charge at least a couple of you *cough*laurakevinandkevin*cough*)

kekekeke

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 04:25:11 GMT

My new livejournal scheme looks bad on any resolution that isn't 1280x1024 or above

....But if you aren't using that resolution, you're not cool anyway! <3

el oh el work

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 04:19:03 GMT

I think I sprained my wrist on Thursday... It wasn't all that bad at first, but it's been getting progressively worse every day.

I was carrying a box of lemons (20 pounds or so?) at work when the refrigerator door began to prematurely shut on my leg, causing me to stumble and lose hold on the box. Rather than dropping it, I simply lost my grip on the right side of the box, causing all of the weight to instantaneously be transfered to my left hand as I struggled to position my hand in such a way as to allow the box to be temporarily balanced long enough for me to regain my hold on it. Unfortunately, this involved roughly twenty pounds of lemons crunching down on my left wrist at a very awkward angle.

Good times, good times.

I also really want to go to this Bloc Party concert on my birthday, although I won't because I don't see how I could. Good band, though... They sound like teh doubly hot heat.

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 05:29:36 GMT

Oct 8 - San Francisco, CA @ The Warfield (Public On Sale 8/4)

Thrice is playing with Underoath, the Bled, and Veda.

I soooo have to go to this :3

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 04:33:19 GMT

I've worked 21.14 hours so far this week. This week. And I don't have a day off until Saturday.

I made the bad decision to agree to come in today when they needed a position filled because they were short-handed. Turns out that even with me there they were shorthanded. I spent six hours sprinting back and forth, doing pretty much every position at once... Cleaning blenders while I was supposed to be on register, restocking cups when I was supposed to be making smoothies. It sucked balls, seriously.
Yesturday three women came into work, somewhat confused, while I was working register yesturday. Afterward, about half an hour later, my supervisor told me that I had a phone call from a customer. Turns out that all three of them were managers from Macy's, and the woman I spoke with told me that I did such an excellent job that she would be interested in hiring me. Trying to get rid of her, I told her I didn't really want to leave my job at Jamba, to which she responded by saying that if I was interested, they would work around my schedule. I met with them today and they loved me, and want to hire me asap.... But after working today, I really don't know if I can take another job. I could really use the extra money if I'm going to be moving out, but I'm seriously about to just start crying and punching things right about now, and I'm not sure compensating my sanity for money would really be worth it. I mean, that was my reasoning behind going into work today, and I really don't think I made the right decision.

So my day consisted of waking up and getting coffee with Sid for about 15 minutes before going to Macy's for two hours, then going to Jamba and deciding to work, then coming home with enough time to eat a bowl of cereal before going to Sears to get my glasses fixed. After getting home, I had about 10 minutes to get ready before going to work, where I remained for about six-and-a-half hours. Then I got home about half an hour ago, and my dad has been bitching at me ever since for not finding out when I get my first paycheck and why I don't have a paystub yet since it's supposed to be payday and FUCK I DON'T CARE AS LONG AS I GET PAID EVENTUALLY SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP DAD. By the way, I have a temperature of over 100 degrees, I can't take my allergy medication because then I'd have too much sudafed in my system to be able to drive safely, my voice is gone because of the concert, I got less than two hours of sleep, and I wasn't in a good mood even before any of this. APOUFA(*&S409a874w9noUIARS(*A7w643987o%^J*(AW*&($^*W&^(*HAYUNOIUSF

I don't even know if I can move out anymore. How the fuck can I do this? I can't fucking take this, and this is what's required if I want to live on my own. Why should I have no life and constantly be either busy or exhausted when I can have everything handed to me? What if I move out and I fail and I need to go back to my parents? I won't let myself because I have too much fucking damn pride, and then I'll just break down... And then what?

fuck

fuck

fuck.

I'm seriously about to go insane, and I need to get out of this house before I start freaking out. But I have nowhere to go

ugh.

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 09:15:44 GMT

The Hot Hot Heat concert was fucking excellent. I was able to go all the way to the front (actually leaning on the rail), and it was great. I'm too lazy to type anything else right now, but yes, the show was amazing.

patterns

Tue, 26 Jul 2005 04:22:52 GMT

Sometimes situations, no matter how different from one another they might be, all seem to wind up with the same end result.

someone should buy me this, lawls.

life is good and all that jazz

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 19:51:01 GMT

I got a job at Jamba Juice -- orientation tomorrow!

Gamestop offered me a job as well which I might take because, if I plan to move out when I turn 18 (which I do), I'll need to be making a good amount of money.

my retort

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 07:38:50 GMT

I read the aim logs between you and Sid and am now, for better or worse, giving a rebuttal. It would seem that both Sid and I reacted similarly to a lot of what was said, so I'm going to try my best to articulate my disagreeances with some of your statements.

First and foremost, let me say that Sid and I added up the money that he spent on you since you arrived back to Santa Cruz, which amounts to nearly five hundred dollars on his credit card alone. So, given the fact he has spent over a quarter of his last paycheck on you, I'm unsure as to how you can make the claim that "now that i'm screwed up, youre going to ditch me." Neither myself, nor Sid, nor anyone else that I'm aware of, has even begun to insinuate that ditching you would be preferable to helping you through your problems. In fact, I was not even knowledgable about you really being in any serious predictments until today, and it would be difficult for a person to "ditch" you as a result of any problems that you might be having if that person was not aware of said problems.

You also claim that you've helped your friends through their problems to the best of your ability. However, although I cannot recall whether or not this was the case in previous occurances, I am aware of your response to my current situation, which was one of exasperation and annoyance. Now, I understand that hanging around with someone who is in a bad state of mind due to their surroundings can be aggravating... But, when that person is just as aware that their state of mind is undesirable to be around as anyone who they are to associate with, and when they are trying their best to accomidate those around them to make up for the fact that they might not be at their best, I cannot see how you can justify actually resenting that person for being in a bad mood, and I especially cannot see how you can claim their distress to be manipulative. I do not resent you for any problems that you may have, might have had in the past, or could possibly have in the future. I am not angry with you for making claims that I'm using my occasion bouts of a bad mood to manipulate yourself and Sid. And lastly, I would never consider you to be so expendable as to simply "ditch" you, rather than put effort into helping you. Yes, I did say "if you're just going to manipulate someone who isn't mentally stable into giving you money, how does that make you any better than him?", and yes, I still stand by that inquiry. However, I am an honest person, and that was an honest question. It was not an accusation nor an insult per se, and I did not intend for it to serve as an indicating factor for any exasperation that I may have had for you (because although that is how you perceived the statement as being, it was not the point I was trying to make). I am not a person who appreciates being manipulative (again, I'm not accusing you of trying to manipulate me), and likewise, I try very hard to not manipulate others. I said what I did because I was trying to get you to realize that what you are doing, or have done, is perhaps more critical than you may give it credit for.

Neither Sid nor myself want to give up on you, and I'm sure that any of your others friends who were aware of the situation would feel similarly. Please do not assume that anyone has the intent to give up on your unless they clearly spell it out, because assumptions can lead to very precarious situations because they are frequently wrong. Furthermore, even if you have for some reason given up on me as a resource, please understand that if nothing else, Sid has invested a lot of money toward your well being, and you simply running away from everything as a possible solution would mean that he essentially threw all that money away. Don't take that for granted, and don't take for granted that a lot of people care about you, and are willing to help you. You just have to be more honest to people, and tell them (us) what it is that you expect to receive in return.

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 03:00:47 GMT

I had a group interview today at Jamba Juice that seemed to have gone very well, and I have an interview at Gamestop in the mall tomorrow at 1PM.

Yay for potential monies!

SHENANIGANS

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 05:44:32 GMT

Getting drunk with Mell at Sid's house -- woowoo

Happy fourth of July!

HOT HOT HEAT AT THE CATALYST

Sat, 25 Jun 2005 19:38:55 GMT

http://catalyst.inhousetickets.com/evinfo.php?eventid=8557&sid=

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!

Stolen from Colin

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 00:36:38 GMT

Personality Disorder Test Results

Paranoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Schizoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Schizotypal	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Antisocial	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Borderline	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Narcissistic	\|\|\|\|\|	24%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Dependent	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Obsessive-Compulsive	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 00:07:16 GMT

The men's team is fighting a losing battle.

That is all.

Edit: Laura, you are a champion. Hahahahahahaha

Band pictures, old and new.

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 15:39:07 GMT

Since I'm making a scrapbook for Stewart, I had to collect a lot of pictures... The intarweb has not yet been presented with these pictures, so I figured I'd crop and upload a few of them.

Snack hat!

Friday night football games > *

Also, check out this picture of my high-school transformation from Freshman to Sophmore to Junior year... I look exactly the same :P

Stolen from Grant

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 05:53:25 GMT

Your Birthdate: September 22

While sometimes employing unorthodox approaches, you are capable of handling large scale undertakings.

You assume great responsibility and work long and hard toward completion.

Often, especially in the early part of life, there is rigidity or stubbornness, and a tendency to repress feelings.

Idealistic, you work for the greater good with a good deal of inner strength and charisma.

An extremely capable organizer, but likely to paint with broad strokes rather than detail.

You are very aware and intuitive.

You are subject to a good deal of nervous tension.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

In other news, I think I'm getting sick... My head hurts, I feel nautious, and I think I might have a slight fever. Hello shitty weekend.

Heritage Festival 2005 pictures

Mon, 30 May 2005 06:28:50 GMT

Raving to Sandstorm

Message to passing by trucks..... And, if they don't honk...

My masterpiece :P

Nick and Josh got drenched from the water ride

Owned

Uhhhh, self explainitory...

Helmut chop is soon to come

Downs Syndrome face.

NICK SMASH!

kekekeke Big Lebowski

El Presidente

Up, up, and away!

Shenanabananas

Sid needed clothes to wear for the performance, so I said he could borrow my shirt.

I tried to get Nick to grope Sid, without true success.

So then I let him borrow my bikini top as well, for some reason....

A Band

Not sure what's going on here. The saxes are playing, the trombones are looking very concentrated, and the trumpets are being very entertained by something.

In retrospect, I probably should've worn a white shirt like everyone else, haha..

Continued.

Josh is a lady because I weigh more than he does.

KEVIN IS A BIG EMO FAG!

Sam is failing at looking sad, while Josh looks right at home in my track jacket.

Trying on the underwear at Fredrick's of Hollywood, obviously the way they were intended to be worn.

Helmut face!

A delightful picture of D.K.

Sean giving the stink eye to the track jackets.

woowoo

Newport beach

The after effects of swinging.

Group photo at Newport beach.

Rar, this is my angry face.

If the picture hadn't been cropped, you could notice the extreme dippage of the bar, despite the fact that Marissa weighs nothing.

To quote Josh, "sometimes love means you let me give you the shocker."

Shocking. EL OH EL PUN, AM I RITE?

Eating dinner at Niples.

Kevin's hair wouldn't quite do the swoop, but it would stay in place because it was so greasy.

Pre-ceremony rape... Duh, it's tradition!

Aww

I'm sure there's a certain someone who will appreciate this ;D

And, due to inspiration by the utter (awesome) faggotry of the trip, I will post a screenshot of my sweet background :P
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v326/kismetphobia/gaydesktopyay.jpg